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Month: October 2017

My Officership

My Officership

First three years. Confident. Ambitious. Driven. Much was accomplished in our first appointment. Became dangerously self-reliant.

Fourth year, second appointment dealt a huge blow. Mental illness. I broke. Eric had to step up and take the lead. I was suddenly totally God-reliant.

Fifth through seventh year, God stretched me beyond any comfort zone I could dream of. It was brutal. And now, my heart loves the unlovable. Thank you Lord, for breaking me and then reshaping me into your vessel.

Now into our eighth year of Officership. Third appointment serving in a completely divergent capacity from the corps. What have I learned? Leadership is hard. Observing and learning. Taking it in.

I love doing for the youth of our Army. To be able to create experiences for our folks brings such joy. Is this for real?

Challenges? In each appointment thus far. And yes, we grow deeper in faith because of the struggles. Refiner’s fire.

Overwhelmed? Every day. Back to being God-reliant. One of the most helpful statements said to me in recent history. Made by a long time, high ranking Officer. He said that in each new appointment, he always felt like he had no idea what he was doing. At the time this frightened me. If he didn’t know what he was doing, the rest of us were doomed. But with a few years under my belt, I think I understand. We cannot do this without God. He will uphold us with His righteous right hand. He will be our helper. Our strength. God’s faithfulness.

So far Officership has been many things. Really all things. It has brought me to tears of laughter and tears of sorrow. I have watched people die around me, helpless to do any more than extend Christ’s love. I have led new couples into their marriage covenant, and held their newborn babes. I have led God’s children to the foot of the cross. Oh, the sweet salvation.

I grew up in a large, rather formal Lutheran congregation. I attended parochial school. And I was never taught how to actively love His lost sheep. There were no feedings. No social service work. There were no basic needs being met, because everyone in our congregation had no needs. Christian Country Club.

And now at the age of 45, I find myself completely immersed in the work of Jesus. I love the unlovable. I reach out into the stormy sea to rescue those drowning in sin. Leading a soul to Jesus…there’s nothing like it. Honored privilege.

I love my life. Grateful that God called me. I am a Salvation Army Officer. It is good to be in the sweet spot of His will. Covenant Calling.

So far…

So far…

Fascinating dynamics every week. To witness some shirk their responsibilities, while others strive to do more and more.

Getting used to being in an overwhelmed state. The Holy Spirit reassured me of His faithfulness. All will be well.

Favorite part so far? Planning the events. Creatively brainstorming memorable experiences for our folks.

Been placed in an awkward position of having to bring correction. Hate this.

We’ll get there. A little bit of progress each day.

With each transition, God’s strength renews me. I can do this only in His power.