Believing your own press…

Believing your own press…

Lunch with a fellow believer. Brand new soldier. Grew up in another denomination. Asking why some in our beloved movement ignore and exclude. I do not have an answer. Christ followers. Proclaiming love and inclusivity, only to behave as if in high school. Some of the time these folks altogether ignore. Completely freeze out. And in more vulnerable settings, this kind warms up. Hot and cold running rudeness. The inconsistency is confusing and the intermittent rejection wounds. The Christian bubble….

Read More Read More

Scents & Sounds

Scents & Sounds

It’s a fully immersive experience; sitting in a homeless shelter. The scent is overwhelming. Ripe. The sounds of bodily functions and snoring abound. Low barrier ministry; folks are loaded. A gentleman is rolling around on the floor, far off of his mat. Hoping he doesn’t wet himself tonight. Most are grateful to be out of the below freezing temperatures. A safe place to rest. Perhaps clean up in the bathroom. Wash some clothes. Refresh one’s physical body. Restore some dignity….

Read More Read More

I Choose

I Choose

A few months ago, my physician recommended a plant based diet. My numbers were pre-diabetic, with high cholesterol. After prescribing the standard meds, I lost my mind a bit. The idea of being old enough to require medication for my physical health…it was quite a blow to my waning vanity. So I attempted this vegan diet. Lasted 7 weeks. Lost 20 pounds. Never been so sad in my life. I would give up on my salad, sitting across from someone…

Read More Read More

A Sad Reality

A Sad Reality

Aloneness. A close friend. One that brings comfort and clarity. Friendships. Deep river relationships. They too bring comfort and clarity. Surrounded by incongruity. Completely understand why some want nothing to do with the church. We Christians can be mean to one another. I grew up fitting in everywhere, except church. The same continues on today. I feel comfortable in most scenarios, but never more alone than in a church. A poignant question posed to me…why are my secular friends more…

Read More Read More

First Time

First Time

First time. First time ever. Thirty years of abuse and body shaming. The ongoing battle with my long time frienemy bulimia nervosa. Restricting. Over exercising. Binging. Purging. Diet pills. You name it. I’ve tried it. Was nicknamed ‘thunder thighs’ at the tender age of six months. I thought for the better part of my young adult life that I had thunderous thighs. I was a size 8. This last year I allowed myself to get fat. I gained 30 pounds….

Read More Read More

My Officership

My Officership

First three years. Confident. Ambitious. Driven. Much was accomplished in our first appointment. Became dangerously self-reliant. Fourth year, second appointment dealt a huge blow. Mental illness. I broke. Eric had to step up and take the lead. I was suddenly totally God-reliant. Fifth through seventh year, God stretched me beyond any comfort zone I could dream of. It was brutal. And now, my heart loves the unlovable. Thank you Lord, for breaking me and then reshaping me into your vessel….

Read More Read More

So far…

So far…

Fascinating dynamics every week. To witness some shirk their responsibilities, while others strive to do more and more. Getting used to being in an overwhelmed state. The Holy Spirit reassured me of His faithfulness. All will be well. Favorite part so far? Planning the events. Creatively brainstorming memorable experiences for our folks. Been placed in an awkward position of having to bring correction. Hate this. We’ll get there. A little bit of progress each day. With each transition, God’s strength…

Read More Read More

Mindless Musings

Mindless Musings

Anxious, disjointed, and distracted… Never been a time when Eric was without pain or condition. Major surgery every 3-5 years. Gastrointestinal, esophageal, and spinal. It is our normal. In spite of his brokenness, God uses him mightily. He brings hope and respite to his sheep. They adore their beloved shepherd. When first appointed to Santa Monica, Eric was deeply convicted. He saw hungry folks on the street; deciding that if there were so many in his midst starving, he could…

Read More Read More

I see them.

I see them.

Raised in a safe culdesac suburb. Attended a large Lutheran congregation. Didn’t help the homeless. Didn’t really know of their existence. Church was a club. Was introduced to those living on the streets through The Salvation Army. Declared that this was NOT my ministry. Was placed in Santa Monica. The Mecca of homeless. Had no bearings, context, or skill set to minister to them. It was too big. Hid in my office for two years. Avoided contact. Cried. Failed. Failed…

Read More Read More

Chloebear

Chloebear

She’s a lover of music, especially live. Expressive through multiple mediums. Paint. Jewelry. Pen and pastels. Grows succulents for fun. Hikes to waterfalls with no more than a canvas and primary colors. She reads authors like Camus and Dostoyevsky. Gets Shakespeare. Wears mismatched patterns. Attends political protests and women’s rights walks. Takes the metro into downtown to visit her favorite book store, and eat curry with her friends. She is fiercely independent. Passionately engaged in issues close to her heart….

Read More Read More